Bell-end of the Day 8/7/12

Today's bell-end of the day is...Mr Roger Federer. I do apologise to Roger - there are other candidates who certainly gave him a run for his money in the bell-end stakes. However, by taking the title at Wimbledon today he broke the hearts of a nation. That must surely make him a bell-end in anybody's book. This morning, Andy Murray was British. Thanks to Mr Federer he has once again been relegated to being Scottish - at least until next year's Wimbledon. He has condemned our nation's current hero to being a dour ginger bloke with high cholesterol and a penchant for beating up burning terrorists. That is no way to live your life. Coming second today was Ms Imogen Thomas. Let us hope that wasn't the case when she was shagging Ryan Giggs. By the way, I placed above Mansour Murad. I was considered more of a bell-end than a man who pulled out a gun during a live television debate. Bastards!!!

Mansour Murad

This is the Jordanian political activist who, during a heated argument with MP Mohammad Shawabka, which was being broadcast LIVE ON TELEVISION, threw his shoe, and then PULLED A GUN ON HIM! Now, I hate politicians. I would gladly see all of them coated in honey and hung naked by their feet for the surrounding wildlife to bite, sting and generally prey upon. But this bloke pulls a gat, on live telly. Of course, that's not going to get you into any bother, is it?! I'd love to know what Shawabka was playing at, though: When Murad threw his shoe, he tipped his desk forward and hid behind it, but when Murad pulled a gun he went and tried to wrestle it off him. Does this bloke actually know what a gun does? Can you imagine him in the army? 'I don't need your silly guns; I have shoes.' He goes to war, and everyone around him are firing rifles at the enemy, while Shawabka's lobbing espadrilles and brogues, yelling, 'Have that, you bastards!' Although, with Cameron in charge and all the cuts he's making, that's all the British army will have to fight with soon.