Bell-end of the Day 8/7/12

Today's bell-end of the day is...Mr Roger Federer. I do apologise to Roger - there are other candidates who certainly gave him a run for his money in the bell-end stakes. However, by taking the title at Wimbledon today he broke the hearts of a nation. That must surely make him a bell-end in anybody's book. This morning, Andy Murray was British. Thanks to Mr Federer he has once again been relegated to being Scottish - at least until next year's Wimbledon. He has condemned our nation's current hero to being a dour ginger bloke with high cholesterol and a penchant for beating up burning terrorists. That is no way to live your life. Coming second today was Ms Imogen Thomas. Let us hope that wasn't the case when she was shagging Ryan Giggs. By the way, I placed above Mansour Murad. I was considered more of a bell-end than a man who pulled out a gun during a live television debate. Bastards!!!

Roger Federer

Okay, I'm going to have to apologise for this one. Roger Federer is a worthy champion; arguably the best player to ever grace the game. He has class, he is a gentleman, and an all-round good bloke. But I'm British, and HE beat Andy Murray. Fucking bell-end!!!

David Cameron

The King of the Bell-ends. Everything this man does or says irritates me. Every time I see his face, I just want to punch it. I have absolutely no doubt that these pages will be filled with his name for the next few years while the spoilt little bastard hangs on to power. I just know that this man's bell-endary will bring him to the attention of bell-enders time and time again. Well how about that? Even since I originally wrote this entry, Prime Minister Dickhead Dave Cameron has indulged in more bell-endary, by appearing at Wimbledon just so that he could be seen among the faces because he knew most of the country would be watching. Get back to running (or is it ruining?) the country, Cameron. You're too busy to be watching tennis.