John Terry

Apologies to Chelsea fans, but this guy is appearing in court today accused of racism against Anton Ferdinand. If you're going to make racist comments then I'm afraid you are going to have to stand up and take your place among the bell-ends. Now, I realise he hasn't been found guilty, and that at this stage they are only allegations, but that's enough to put him on this list as far as I'm concerned. What kind of nob insults someone on the basis of their skin colour? It's like the absolute zero of wit; the simplest target. You might as well tell Saddam Hussein he was a bit of a shit, or tell Prince Philip he's a bit inappropriate, or tell David Cameron he's a clueless, inbred posh twat - it all goes without saying. Terry says he made his comments in response to something Anton Ferdinand said about his affair with Wayne Bridge's ex. Again, further bell-endary to justify John Terry's appearance in the nominations today.