Editorial
There seem to be a plethora of
bell-ends around at the moment. Choosing one is like shooting fish in a barrel.
Is it just me, or is the world
going mad? Is everybody in the world turning into a twat? It's like a fucking
pandemic. Everywhere you look; everywhere you go - there are dicks coming out
of the woodwork.
When I was younger, you just had
the odd one or two. But nowadays it's like every other person is crying out to
have a baseball bat around their head.
Read on for my latest sampling:
The Bell-Ends
Jeremy Corbyn
Where do you start with this
utter anus? He's an absolute smorgasbord of bell-endism.
How did he even get to be leader
of the Labour Party anyway? He's fucking ancient. His five-year plan must be not
to die.
Anyway, this is a man who looks
at this country - over-populated; bursting at the seams, with an infrastructure
straining under the pressure of too much demand - and goes on a march crying
out for us to let more people in. He doesn't bother flying our flag while doing
it, to show what a caring nation we are. And he does it while ignoring the
thousands of soldiers sleeping rough on our streets after having risked their
lives so this bell-end would actually have a street to walk down.
Why does this surprise me,
though? This is a man who wants to dismantle our army and any means of
defending ourselves.
He wants us to have more
allotments. His idea for our future is to turn Britain into an episode of The
Good Life.
He believes that talking to
radical groups is the answer. He wants us to call them friends. I wonder if
he'll feel the same while his "friends" are chopping his head off and
uploading the film to the internet?
He wants to share the Falkland
Islands with Argentina. I wouldn't be surprised if he was spotted pissing on
the graves of the soldiers who died re-taking the islands when they were
invaded.
Perhaps he says these things
because he's reached that age where people just roll their eyes and say,
"Oh, it's just Jeremy."
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