For my money, one of the most despicable people of the twenty-first century. A little manchild who was instantly ready to throw away whatever false principles he had and sell the people who trusted him down the river just for a semblance of power that has cost him his credibility and any vestige of respect he may have had before.
Well, David Cameron's bitch, Little Nicky Clegg, the day before the Bedroom Tax kicks in, has gone on holiday to his parents' luxury 20 bedroom chalet in the Swiss Alps.
That's a lot of spare fucking bedrooms there, Nicky. How about putting up some of the overcrowded families in there? Or how about letting some of us escape the austerity for a week by staying there for a little holiday?
Come on, Little Nicky - what happened to us all being in this together?
Fucking stay over there in Switzerland, you pathetic limp-dick cunt. I hope somebody rogers you with a Toblerone.
Sunday 31 March 2013
Iain Duncan-Smith
He came up with the "Bedroom Tax"; do I really need to say any more?
Oh, and he lives rent-free in a £2 million mansion that has at least 4 spare bedrooms.
So, how much "Under-occupancy Tax" will you be paying, Iain?
Why not move out so Grant Shapps can move in and his kids won't have to share a room anymore?
Or why not allow one of the families in overcrowded housing to move in - after all, it's they you are doing all this for, isn't it?
No; of course not. The same rules that apply to the rest of us don't apply to you rich ponces, do they?
You're a fucking disgrace, IDS! You're a failed leader, ousted out of the leadership office on a no-confidence vote from your own party. Well there's no need to take it out on the rest of us, you bald-headed cunt!
IDS, you're just a spiteful, mean-spirited wanker with an inferiority complex borne from a lack of hair and your utter failure as the Tory party leader. No doubt you were only given your job as Welfare Minister because nobody else wanted it.
You, sir, are an utter bell-end.
Oh, and he lives rent-free in a £2 million mansion that has at least 4 spare bedrooms.
So, how much "Under-occupancy Tax" will you be paying, Iain?
Why not move out so Grant Shapps can move in and his kids won't have to share a room anymore?
Or why not allow one of the families in overcrowded housing to move in - after all, it's they you are doing all this for, isn't it?
No; of course not. The same rules that apply to the rest of us don't apply to you rich ponces, do they?
You're a fucking disgrace, IDS! You're a failed leader, ousted out of the leadership office on a no-confidence vote from your own party. Well there's no need to take it out on the rest of us, you bald-headed cunt!
IDS, you're just a spiteful, mean-spirited wanker with an inferiority complex borne from a lack of hair and your utter failure as the Tory party leader. No doubt you were only given your job as Welfare Minister because nobody else wanted it.
You, sir, are an utter bell-end.
Kelly Jones
Not the lead singer of the Stereophonics, but a female police officer who is suing a man who reported a suspected burglary and she tripped and hurt herself while responding.
Now, I've got no problem with the police. I think that, on the whole, they do a fantastic job, under huge pressure and with a growing risk to their lives. They are massively overworked and insultingly underpaid.
But this is taking the piss.
PC Kelly Jones, of Norfolk, you are a bell-end.
It wasn't even like she tripped on something of his. It was a kerb she tripped on, and she hurt her wrist and her leg. The man in question is Steve Jones (I assume no relation), a garage owner who called the police because he thought he was being burgled. Perfectly reasonable.
While looking around, PC Jones tripped on a six-inch kerb, and is now suing him because she says he put her in unnecessary danger by not warning her about the kerb. She also says it wasn't lit well enough.
This whole litigation culture is really getting out of hand now. The way things are going, just to protect ourselves we're going to have to put warning signs on everything and actually point out risks to anyone who comes within a mile of us or our property.
I'd be scared to call the police if I thought someone was burgling my house now. The burglars would be stripping my house, and I would be shouting to the police, "Mind the kerb! There's a bit of privet sticking out that might scratch you. Mind the doorstep - it's a bit high. Wait there - I'll come and let you in." Then as I walked down the stairs I'd have to warn the burglars: "Please be careful of the loose carpet near the patio doors. If you've broken the glass, please be careful not to cut yourself. I'm coming downstairs but I don't plan to come into the living room. However, I am carrying a baseball bat which could of course hurt you. I will ensure that I use it carefully and proportionately."
I answer the door to the police. "Please come in. Mind the step. The radiator in the hall there has a bit of a rough edge. The burglars are in the living room. Please be aware that they may be lurking behind the door to attack you as you enter. Should you catch them they will no doubt launch a tirade at you that might include strong language and opinions that might offend."
Silly cow.
Now, I've got no problem with the police. I think that, on the whole, they do a fantastic job, under huge pressure and with a growing risk to their lives. They are massively overworked and insultingly underpaid.
But this is taking the piss.
PC Kelly Jones, of Norfolk, you are a bell-end.
It wasn't even like she tripped on something of his. It was a kerb she tripped on, and she hurt her wrist and her leg. The man in question is Steve Jones (I assume no relation), a garage owner who called the police because he thought he was being burgled. Perfectly reasonable.
While looking around, PC Jones tripped on a six-inch kerb, and is now suing him because she says he put her in unnecessary danger by not warning her about the kerb. She also says it wasn't lit well enough.
This whole litigation culture is really getting out of hand now. The way things are going, just to protect ourselves we're going to have to put warning signs on everything and actually point out risks to anyone who comes within a mile of us or our property.
I'd be scared to call the police if I thought someone was burgling my house now. The burglars would be stripping my house, and I would be shouting to the police, "Mind the kerb! There's a bit of privet sticking out that might scratch you. Mind the doorstep - it's a bit high. Wait there - I'll come and let you in." Then as I walked down the stairs I'd have to warn the burglars: "Please be careful of the loose carpet near the patio doors. If you've broken the glass, please be careful not to cut yourself. I'm coming downstairs but I don't plan to come into the living room. However, I am carrying a baseball bat which could of course hurt you. I will ensure that I use it carefully and proportionately."
I answer the door to the police. "Please come in. Mind the step. The radiator in the hall there has a bit of a rough edge. The burglars are in the living room. Please be aware that they may be lurking behind the door to attack you as you enter. Should you catch them they will no doubt launch a tirade at you that might include strong language and opinions that might offend."
Silly cow.
Ellis Short
Ellis Short is the American owner of Sunderland football club, and an utter bell-end.
Short sacked one of the finest managers in the game yesterday when he dismissed Martin O'Neill following a 1-0 loss to Manchester United.
This is just another example of stupid owners who know nothing about the game and are way out of their depth wanting results immediately rather than to give a manager time to bring stability to a club; to build up a team and then start looking for results. It's time the FA introduced safeguards for managers to ensure that this chopping and changing of managers stops. It harms the game, and will deter talented managers taking on roles in the English game.
There are too many foreign owners nowadays who just see football teams as a plaything. Their own real-world version of Football Manager, with their own little six-figure cheat codes. These people know nothing of the working-class roots of football teams. These people have never stood on a terrace in the middle of winter, with a pie in one hand and a Bovril in the other, and watched as 22 men played on a pitch as muddy as a bog and gave every ounce of themselves to the game, and if you wanted one of them to go down you had to take a baseball bat to their kneecaps.
I don't blame foreign owners entirely for the decline of the modern game. But they have played their part. And Ellis Short is one of them.
Short sacked one of the finest managers in the game yesterday when he dismissed Martin O'Neill following a 1-0 loss to Manchester United.
This is just another example of stupid owners who know nothing about the game and are way out of their depth wanting results immediately rather than to give a manager time to bring stability to a club; to build up a team and then start looking for results. It's time the FA introduced safeguards for managers to ensure that this chopping and changing of managers stops. It harms the game, and will deter talented managers taking on roles in the English game.
There are too many foreign owners nowadays who just see football teams as a plaything. Their own real-world version of Football Manager, with their own little six-figure cheat codes. These people know nothing of the working-class roots of football teams. These people have never stood on a terrace in the middle of winter, with a pie in one hand and a Bovril in the other, and watched as 22 men played on a pitch as muddy as a bog and gave every ounce of themselves to the game, and if you wanted one of them to go down you had to take a baseball bat to their kneecaps.
I don't blame foreign owners entirely for the decline of the modern game. But they have played their part. And Ellis Short is one of them.
Grant Shapps
WANKER!!!!
Hate this man. He's the Conservative Party Chairman, and he's spoken out, defending the "Bedroom Tax", saying that his kids share a room.
SO WHY NOT PUT ONE OF THEM IN THE SECOND HOME YOU LOT HAVE, PAID FOR BY THE TAXPAYER!!!! YOU UTTER CUNT!!!!!
The posh boys keep coming out and saying the spare room bollocks is not a tax, but they know it is. If overnight tonight there was a mass swap all over the country so that there wasn't a single unoccupied bedroom then the housing benefit bill would be exactly the same as it is now. They wouldn't save a penny. But, of course, they know that's not going to happen. They know that there is actually not enough social housing to move people with an extra room. This is just a cynical move to make money to pay for the tax cuts for the wealthy wankers and their political puppets.
Grant Shapps, you are a first-class bell-end.
Hate this man. He's the Conservative Party Chairman, and he's spoken out, defending the "Bedroom Tax", saying that his kids share a room.
SO WHY NOT PUT ONE OF THEM IN THE SECOND HOME YOU LOT HAVE, PAID FOR BY THE TAXPAYER!!!! YOU UTTER CUNT!!!!!
The posh boys keep coming out and saying the spare room bollocks is not a tax, but they know it is. If overnight tonight there was a mass swap all over the country so that there wasn't a single unoccupied bedroom then the housing benefit bill would be exactly the same as it is now. They wouldn't save a penny. But, of course, they know that's not going to happen. They know that there is actually not enough social housing to move people with an extra room. This is just a cynical move to make money to pay for the tax cuts for the wealthy wankers and their political puppets.
Grant Shapps, you are a first-class bell-end.
Jimmy Carr
The bell-end pickings are a bit slim today, so I'm stretching it a bit with this one.
I'm actually a fan of Jimmy Carr, but he has been up to something that I think qualifies him for this list.
Jimmy, and his girlfriend Karoline, are on holiday in Barbados, yet Jimmy chooses to go into the sea in a long-sleeved top.
As a proud Englishman I am disappointed and embarrassed by this piece of bell-endery. Jimmy is an Englishman abroad. There are standards to maintain: He must refuse to speak the local language, address foreigners by appropriate derogatory names, spend at least twelve hours a day pissed out of his skull, demand fish and chips or a roast beef dinner or a doner kebab even from a restaurant famed for its local cuisine, get into at least one fight during a week's holiday, and get arrested for pissing up the doorway of the club that chucked you out for being too drunk.
What you do not do is go into the sea in a long-sleeved top. The only time that this is acceptable is if your mates throw you, fully-dressed, into the sea; if you fell into a drunken slumber on the beach and the tide came in; or if you're pretending to be a seal.
I don't believe you have done anything on the preceding list. Shame on you, Carr.
I'm actually a fan of Jimmy Carr, but he has been up to something that I think qualifies him for this list.
Jimmy, and his girlfriend Karoline, are on holiday in Barbados, yet Jimmy chooses to go into the sea in a long-sleeved top.
As a proud Englishman I am disappointed and embarrassed by this piece of bell-endery. Jimmy is an Englishman abroad. There are standards to maintain: He must refuse to speak the local language, address foreigners by appropriate derogatory names, spend at least twelve hours a day pissed out of his skull, demand fish and chips or a roast beef dinner or a doner kebab even from a restaurant famed for its local cuisine, get into at least one fight during a week's holiday, and get arrested for pissing up the doorway of the club that chucked you out for being too drunk.
What you do not do is go into the sea in a long-sleeved top. The only time that this is acceptable is if your mates throw you, fully-dressed, into the sea; if you fell into a drunken slumber on the beach and the tide came in; or if you're pretending to be a seal.
I don't believe you have done anything on the preceding list. Shame on you, Carr.
Anjem Choudary
Tosser!!!
Sorry; I just wanted to clear my literary throat before I started this one.
This dipshit comes to the UK, claims £25,000 a year on benefits, and then tells his followers to blow the fucking place up. He laughs at our criminal justice system, thumbs his nose at our police, and preaches that radicals should be proud to call themselves terrorists.
Tosser!!!
Sorry; this literary cough I've got is really tickly.
Anyway, his latest act of bell-endery is flying over to Finland - paid for with benefits from the country he so loathes and derides. There, he attended a clandestine Islamic conference where he laughed at our justice system, told his followers to be proud and carry on the fight, and mocked the British police because they couldn't arrest him.
Tosser!!! Tosser!!! Tosser!!!
This nob-head recently said he wanted David Cameron dead. Now, I hate Cameron with every fibre of my being. I think he's a jumped-up, elitist public-school ponce...and a prick...and a wanker...and a cunt...and an arsehole...a bastard...and a twat.
But I don't want the little shit dead. Beaten the shit out of, certainly; knee-capped, maybe; and if someone wants to kick him in the balls in front of television cameras then I'll give that person fifty quid. But I don't want him dead.
So, ladies and gentleman, I present to you today's first bell-end nominee: Anjem Choudary.
Sorry; I just wanted to clear my literary throat before I started this one.
This dipshit comes to the UK, claims £25,000 a year on benefits, and then tells his followers to blow the fucking place up. He laughs at our criminal justice system, thumbs his nose at our police, and preaches that radicals should be proud to call themselves terrorists.
Tosser!!!
Sorry; this literary cough I've got is really tickly.
Anyway, his latest act of bell-endery is flying over to Finland - paid for with benefits from the country he so loathes and derides. There, he attended a clandestine Islamic conference where he laughed at our justice system, told his followers to be proud and carry on the fight, and mocked the British police because they couldn't arrest him.
Tosser!!! Tosser!!! Tosser!!!
This nob-head recently said he wanted David Cameron dead. Now, I hate Cameron with every fibre of my being. I think he's a jumped-up, elitist public-school ponce...and a prick...and a wanker...and a cunt...and an arsehole...a bastard...and a twat.
But I don't want the little shit dead. Beaten the shit out of, certainly; knee-capped, maybe; and if someone wants to kick him in the balls in front of television cameras then I'll give that person fifty quid. But I don't want him dead.
So, ladies and gentleman, I present to you today's first bell-end nominee: Anjem Choudary.
Saturday 30 March 2013
Bell-end of the week: RUSSELL BRAND
Mr Brand holds the honour of scoring the most votes ever on the bell-end list. That's why he wins the bell-end of the week this week because of his comments on two celebrities being paedophiles. Failing a miracle, he will also go on to win bell-end of the month for March; and although it is comparatively early, he will definitely be in the running for the bell-end of the year 2013.
Accusations of paedophilia are not nice, Russell. Don't do that again, especially with your track record, because someone might throw an accusation at you.
This whole paedo thing is very disturbing for me. I was a big fan of Jimmy Saville as a kid. I'm glad he didn't answer my Jim'll Fix It letter now, especially since it involved a load of sweets.
We didn't have paedos in our area when I was a kid. If I was the insecure type I'd be worrying that the nonces all thought we were a bunch of mingers. I mean, I admit I wasn't stunning or anything, but I was worth at least a Curly-Wurly and a Dip-Dab. But not so much as a packet of Toffos came the way of the kids I grew up with.
God, you know you were an ugly child when even the paedos didn't want you!
Accusations of paedophilia are not nice, Russell. Don't do that again, especially with your track record, because someone might throw an accusation at you.
This whole paedo thing is very disturbing for me. I was a big fan of Jimmy Saville as a kid. I'm glad he didn't answer my Jim'll Fix It letter now, especially since it involved a load of sweets.
We didn't have paedos in our area when I was a kid. If I was the insecure type I'd be worrying that the nonces all thought we were a bunch of mingers. I mean, I admit I wasn't stunning or anything, but I was worth at least a Curly-Wurly and a Dip-Dab. But not so much as a packet of Toffos came the way of the kids I grew up with.
God, you know you were an ugly child when even the paedos didn't want you!
Bell-end of the day: KIM JONG-UN
It was a close-run thing today, but everyone's favourite dictator, Kim Jong-un has just pipped it.
Oh yes, the king of bullshit wins our bell-end of the day for his declaration of war and continued arse-headedness.
Every day, his rhetoric gets a big stronger. The trouble is - what can he possibly say after declaring war? He's going to declare double-war? Will he start throwing "yo mama" insults at world leaders?
What's next for the man who puts the DICK into dictator?
Watch this space. I have the feeling today is not the last time Kim Jong-un will make the bell-end roll-call.
Oh yes, the king of bullshit wins our bell-end of the day for his declaration of war and continued arse-headedness.
Every day, his rhetoric gets a big stronger. The trouble is - what can he possibly say after declaring war? He's going to declare double-war? Will he start throwing "yo mama" insults at world leaders?
What's next for the man who puts the DICK into dictator?
Watch this space. I have the feeling today is not the last time Kim Jong-un will make the bell-end roll-call.
Jennifer Lopez
J-Lo has been dropped from a gig for being a cunt - sorry, acting like a diva.
She was booked to open India's Premier League cricket tournament, but when she presented them with an outlandish list of demands they pulled the plug on her. Good.
This woman's diva demands are legendary. What a pity she doesn't have the talent to match.
When did she last have a hit song or a hit film? What does she actually do these days?
Let's face it - she's famous because she has a fat arse. That's right; I said it - a fat arse. It's not a "ghetto booty", or "junk in the trunk", it's a fat fucking arse. When I was younger, an arse like hers was a cause for concern, not an asset. You don't hear anyone telling a fat bird she has a ghetto booty, do you? No. They say, "Christ, love - the last time I saw an arse that big it had a trunk the other end!"
Where does J-Lo's arse end and she begin?
I'm sorry; I just hate divas.
She was booked to open India's Premier League cricket tournament, but when she presented them with an outlandish list of demands they pulled the plug on her. Good.
This woman's diva demands are legendary. What a pity she doesn't have the talent to match.
When did she last have a hit song or a hit film? What does she actually do these days?
Let's face it - she's famous because she has a fat arse. That's right; I said it - a fat arse. It's not a "ghetto booty", or "junk in the trunk", it's a fat fucking arse. When I was younger, an arse like hers was a cause for concern, not an asset. You don't hear anyone telling a fat bird she has a ghetto booty, do you? No. They say, "Christ, love - the last time I saw an arse that big it had a trunk the other end!"
Where does J-Lo's arse end and she begin?
I'm sorry; I just hate divas.
Justin Bieber
Not again!
This little shit is such a bell-end that he should hold a cabinet post in the British Government.
His latest act of bell-endery? Sneaking his pet monkey on a flight and insisted it travelled with him. Thankfully, customs seized the animal and now the little twat (Bieber, not the monkey) is facing a possible fine of up to £10,000.
Is anyone else noticing an uncanny similarity here?
Michael Jackson was a child star. So was/is (hard to tell) Bieber.
Michael Jackson had a high-pitched voice. So does Bieber.
Michael Jackson had a pet monkey. Now so does Bieber.
Michael Jackson/Justin Bieber - the same person? You decide.
Update: The arrogant prick even tried to chat up British supermodel, Jourdan Dunn with the knee-weakening line, "You got nice tits".
TWAT!!!!!!
This little shit is such a bell-end that he should hold a cabinet post in the British Government.
His latest act of bell-endery? Sneaking his pet monkey on a flight and insisted it travelled with him. Thankfully, customs seized the animal and now the little twat (Bieber, not the monkey) is facing a possible fine of up to £10,000.
Is anyone else noticing an uncanny similarity here?
Michael Jackson was a child star. So was/is (hard to tell) Bieber.
Michael Jackson had a high-pitched voice. So does Bieber.
Michael Jackson had a pet monkey. Now so does Bieber.
Michael Jackson/Justin Bieber - the same person? You decide.
Update: The arrogant prick even tried to chat up British supermodel, Jourdan Dunn with the knee-weakening line, "You got nice tits".
TWAT!!!!!!
Kim Jong-un
'It's war, Mr Grimsdale! It's war!'
Who can forget Norman Wisdom's apocalyptic declaration in the movie, The Early Bird?
Well, it would appear he's back.
Kim Jong-un has said that North Korea is in "a state of war" with the south. Not that it actually means anything; it's just business as usual. Nothing has changed. So, I want to declare that I am now in a state of boyfriend with Kelly Brook. I'm not, of course, but I reckon I'm as much her boyfriend as he the two Koreas are at war.
Not that I want the two Koreas to go to war. Absolutely not. It's just that the constant bullshit that's coming out of the North at the moment is actually getting more ridiculous every day. I'm actually starting to feel a bit embarrassed for little Kimmy. I genuinely feel a bit sorry for the tubby little fuck. By the way, who wouldn't give at least a couple of ounces of flesh to see him do the Truffle Shuffle?
Who can forget Norman Wisdom's apocalyptic declaration in the movie, The Early Bird?
Well, it would appear he's back.
Kim Jong-un has said that North Korea is in "a state of war" with the south. Not that it actually means anything; it's just business as usual. Nothing has changed. So, I want to declare that I am now in a state of boyfriend with Kelly Brook. I'm not, of course, but I reckon I'm as much her boyfriend as he the two Koreas are at war.
Not that I want the two Koreas to go to war. Absolutely not. It's just that the constant bullshit that's coming out of the North at the moment is actually getting more ridiculous every day. I'm actually starting to feel a bit embarrassed for little Kimmy. I genuinely feel a bit sorry for the tubby little fuck. By the way, who wouldn't give at least a couple of ounces of flesh to see him do the Truffle Shuffle?
Friday 29 March 2013
Bell-end of the day: RUSSELL BRAND
Wow!
By an absolutely huge margin, Russell Brand has won today's bell-end of the day. Nobody else even came close.
If I wasn't such a twat myself I might feel sorry for him.
This is perhaps a lesson for you Mr Brand. Don't accuse people of stuff like that. It's not nice, and it could backfire on you.
Okay, that was a real Good Friday. I wonder who will make the nominations tomorrow?
I think Kim Jong Un might make two days in a row. He's still banging on about war with the South and with the US. He's like that kid in school that keeps offering everybody out for a fight to impress his mates, saying, "come on then; start", but never actually throws a punch, and if anyone actually took him up on his offer he would shit himself.
David Cameron and George Osbourne are usually a good bet. There seems no end to their bell-endery.
Oh, and the Premiership returns tomorrow - that usually throws up a twat or two.
Anyway, congratulations to Russell for winning today. Let's hope he makes the list again soon.
By an absolutely huge margin, Russell Brand has won today's bell-end of the day. Nobody else even came close.
If I wasn't such a twat myself I might feel sorry for him.
This is perhaps a lesson for you Mr Brand. Don't accuse people of stuff like that. It's not nice, and it could backfire on you.
Okay, that was a real Good Friday. I wonder who will make the nominations tomorrow?
I think Kim Jong Un might make two days in a row. He's still banging on about war with the South and with the US. He's like that kid in school that keeps offering everybody out for a fight to impress his mates, saying, "come on then; start", but never actually throws a punch, and if anyone actually took him up on his offer he would shit himself.
David Cameron and George Osbourne are usually a good bet. There seems no end to their bell-endery.
Oh, and the Premiership returns tomorrow - that usually throws up a twat or two.
Anyway, congratulations to Russell for winning today. Let's hope he makes the list again soon.
Justin Bieber
God, where do I start?!
His latest episode of bell-endery is speeding in his Ferrari, spitting on and threatening his neighbour in California.
It really is time that Master Bieber had a clout round the earhole. I would gladly do it.
Why do people even follow him? He's like the love-child of Michael Jackson and Albert Steptoe. And all this trying to be hard, and gangster...? He's about as gangster as an episode of Sesame Street. "Today's show is brought to you by the letter G, motherfuckers!"
Can we please ban this helium-voiced nob? He really is a ball-ache.
His latest episode of bell-endery is speeding in his Ferrari, spitting on and threatening his neighbour in California.
It really is time that Master Bieber had a clout round the earhole. I would gladly do it.
Why do people even follow him? He's like the love-child of Michael Jackson and Albert Steptoe. And all this trying to be hard, and gangster...? He's about as gangster as an episode of Sesame Street. "Today's show is brought to you by the letter G, motherfuckers!"
Can we please ban this helium-voiced nob? He really is a ball-ache.
Robbie Williams
I love Robbie Williams. I think he's massively talented, funny and has created some great music.
But his latest feud with Britpop bands means he makes the Bell-end list for today.
His latest dig is that his nan could be in Blur.
Now, I know nothing of his nan's musical abilities. His nan might be Brian May for all I know, but he shouldn't be touting her as a new member of one of the best Britpop bands of the entire movement.
I think Robbie should be above this sniping among people who are all professionals after all. He should be crediting these people for slicing through the boy-band apathy that had descended upon British music during the nineties - an apathy he is partly responsible for. These bands made British music edgy again. They were the perfect anathema for the sugary, safe pop music that all but threatened to turn British music into a laughing stock.
Give credit where it's due, Robbie. Remember you once sang "Do what you like", the video for which couldn't have been more gay if Elton John bummed the entire band one after the other.
But his latest feud with Britpop bands means he makes the Bell-end list for today.
His latest dig is that his nan could be in Blur.
Now, I know nothing of his nan's musical abilities. His nan might be Brian May for all I know, but he shouldn't be touting her as a new member of one of the best Britpop bands of the entire movement.
I think Robbie should be above this sniping among people who are all professionals after all. He should be crediting these people for slicing through the boy-band apathy that had descended upon British music during the nineties - an apathy he is partly responsible for. These bands made British music edgy again. They were the perfect anathema for the sugary, safe pop music that all but threatened to turn British music into a laughing stock.
Give credit where it's due, Robbie. Remember you once sang "Do what you like", the video for which couldn't have been more gay if Elton John bummed the entire band one after the other.
Russell Brand
He has accused two celebrities of being paedophiles. Frankly, that is fucking sick, especially since it was done purely to provide material for a show. If he has any genuine concerns about people being paedophiles then he should talk to the police, not throw their names out in public for cheap laughs like that.
I've always found Russell Brand a bit hit and miss for me; probably more miss than hit, actually.
His mock-Dickensian way of speaking and his prancing about like a bloody fairy was funny for five minutes - literally. But it's time he moved on.
I can't hate him completely, though, because - credit where it's due - he did shag Katy Perry, and anyone that can get his head between those jubblies of hers deserves respect.
I've always found Russell Brand a bit hit and miss for me; probably more miss than hit, actually.
His mock-Dickensian way of speaking and his prancing about like a bloody fairy was funny for five minutes - literally. But it's time he moved on.
I can't hate him completely, though, because - credit where it's due - he did shag Katy Perry, and anyone that can get his head between those jubblies of hers deserves respect.
Katie Price
Katie Price aka Jordan.
What is the point of this useless twat? Why does The Sun insist on giving her column inches?
Today, she renewed her vows with her latest husband, only months after they got married.
Well WHOOPEE-FUCKING-DO!!!!!
Nobody gave a shit when she married him the first time, let alone the second. What a shame she didn't marry Oscar Pistorious, or OJ Simpson.
Why is she even still famous? She doesn't do anything except get married, have babies and occasionally start feuds with genuine celebrities. She doesn't even get her tits out anymore, which was - let's face it - all she was famous for in the first place.
Please, let us stop giving this worthless bint any more of the attention she so desperately craves.
What is the point of this useless twat? Why does The Sun insist on giving her column inches?
Today, she renewed her vows with her latest husband, only months after they got married.
Well WHOOPEE-FUCKING-DO!!!!!
Nobody gave a shit when she married him the first time, let alone the second. What a shame she didn't marry Oscar Pistorious, or OJ Simpson.
Why is she even still famous? She doesn't do anything except get married, have babies and occasionally start feuds with genuine celebrities. She doesn't even get her tits out anymore, which was - let's face it - all she was famous for in the first place.
Please, let us stop giving this worthless bint any more of the attention she so desperately craves.
Kim Jong Un
This guy has to be an early nominee for bell-end of the month, year, decade and maybe even century if he carries on with his war-bothering.
I guess when your dad was more famous for being a puppet singing "I'm so lonely" in a movie than a head of state, and when your mom quite obviously cuts your hair (come on - no hairdresser would do that to someone), you have to make a few grumblings to show you're hard. But pushing the world to the brink of nuclear confrontation is not the way to do it. Kick a world leader in the balls if you want to show you're hard. Drop the nut on the South Korean Prime Minister. There are so many more things you can do to show you're hard than to play the Nuke card.
And I'm sure the world leaders would welcome such a move. I'll bet anything than if you gave Barack Obama the choice of nuclear war or sore plums for a few days he would tell Kim to get his Doctor Marten's on right away. He would probably even polish them for him. Actually, while he was at it, I would campaign for him to kick David Cameron in the balls as well - not to prove he's hard, but just because if anyone actually deserves a size 9 to the swingers it's David Cameron, oh and George Osbourne, and Nick Clegg, Ian Duncan Smith, basically the entire British Government.
Yes, let that be our new campaign - kick the British Government in the balls. Would there anywhere be a sweeter sight than David Cameron and George Osbourne red-faced, doubled-over and clutching at their grunters?
Kim Jong Un could turn himself into a hero overnight if - instead of threatening nuclear war - he would promise to slam his boot into Ian Duncan Smith's 'nads.
Kim Jong Un to kick the British Government in the balls - who's with me????
I guess when your dad was more famous for being a puppet singing "I'm so lonely" in a movie than a head of state, and when your mom quite obviously cuts your hair (come on - no hairdresser would do that to someone), you have to make a few grumblings to show you're hard. But pushing the world to the brink of nuclear confrontation is not the way to do it. Kick a world leader in the balls if you want to show you're hard. Drop the nut on the South Korean Prime Minister. There are so many more things you can do to show you're hard than to play the Nuke card.
And I'm sure the world leaders would welcome such a move. I'll bet anything than if you gave Barack Obama the choice of nuclear war or sore plums for a few days he would tell Kim to get his Doctor Marten's on right away. He would probably even polish them for him. Actually, while he was at it, I would campaign for him to kick David Cameron in the balls as well - not to prove he's hard, but just because if anyone actually deserves a size 9 to the swingers it's David Cameron, oh and George Osbourne, and Nick Clegg, Ian Duncan Smith, basically the entire British Government.
Yes, let that be our new campaign - kick the British Government in the balls. Would there anywhere be a sweeter sight than David Cameron and George Osbourne red-faced, doubled-over and clutching at their grunters?
Kim Jong Un could turn himself into a hero overnight if - instead of threatening nuclear war - he would promise to slam his boot into Ian Duncan Smith's 'nads.
Kim Jong Un to kick the British Government in the balls - who's with me????
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