Bell-end of the Day 8/7/12

Today's bell-end of the day is...Mr Roger Federer. I do apologise to Roger - there are other candidates who certainly gave him a run for his money in the bell-end stakes. However, by taking the title at Wimbledon today he broke the hearts of a nation. That must surely make him a bell-end in anybody's book. This morning, Andy Murray was British. Thanks to Mr Federer he has once again been relegated to being Scottish - at least until next year's Wimbledon. He has condemned our nation's current hero to being a dour ginger bloke with high cholesterol and a penchant for beating up burning terrorists. That is no way to live your life. Coming second today was Ms Imogen Thomas. Let us hope that wasn't the case when she was shagging Ryan Giggs. By the way, I placed above Mansour Murad. I was considered more of a bell-end than a man who pulled out a gun during a live television debate. Bastards!!!

Imogen Thomas

Okay, so she shagged Ryan Giggs, and he wasted a lot of money trying to make sure nobody else found out. So, what else does she do...? As far as I can see - nothing, except do everything she can to attract attention so she can get in the papers day after day and get up my tits. What is it with these women who think that just because they shag a bloke who kicks a ball around for a living, that we're the slightest bit interested in them? They shag a football player so that makes them a fashion icon; it means they know how to run a shop, how to put make-up on, or it means people are going to buy their biography despite the fact that they are too young to have lived properly yet. How does it work with these women anyway? Is it the same as footballers? When they're in their prime, they get the Premiership and world-class players, but as they get older and a bit more wrinkly and saggy they have to drop down the divisions, and by the time they reach middle age they're shagging players from Scunthorpe United.