Bell-end of the week: RUSSELL BRAND

Mr Brand holds the honour of scoring the most votes ever on the bell-end list. That's why he wins the bell-end of the week this week because of his comments on two celebrities being paedophiles. Failing a miracle, he will also go on to win bell-end of the month for March; and although it is comparatively early, he will definitely be in the running for the bell-end of the year 2013.
Accusations of paedophilia are not nice, Russell. Don't do that again, especially with your track record, because someone might throw an accusation at you.
This whole paedo thing is very disturbing for me. I was a big fan of Jimmy Saville as a kid. I'm glad he didn't answer my Jim'll Fix It letter now, especially since it involved a load of sweets.
We didn't have paedos in our area when I was a kid. If I was the insecure type I'd be worrying that the nonces all thought we were a bunch of mingers. I mean, I admit I wasn't stunning or anything, but I was worth at least a Curly-Wurly and a Dip-Dab. But not so much as a packet of Toffos came the way of the kids I grew up with.
God, you know you were an ugly child when even the paedos didn't want you!