Kim Jong-un

'It's war, Mr Grimsdale! It's war!'
Who can forget Norman Wisdom's apocalyptic declaration in the movie, The Early Bird?
Well, it would appear he's back.
Kim Jong-un has said that North Korea is in "a state of war" with the south. Not that it actually means anything; it's just business as usual. Nothing has changed. So, I want to declare that I am now in a state of boyfriend with Kelly Brook. I'm not, of course, but I reckon I'm as much her boyfriend as he the two Koreas are at war.
Not that I want the two Koreas to go to war. Absolutely not. It's just that the constant bullshit that's coming out of the North at the moment is actually getting more ridiculous every day. I'm actually starting to feel a bit embarrassed for little Kimmy. I genuinely feel a bit sorry for the tubby little fuck. By the way, who wouldn't give at least a couple of ounces of flesh to see him do the Truffle Shuffle?